When fortune did NOT favor the brave.

About four years go, an organisation called the 'purple orchid' had organised a trip to Aurangabad through Vasant Vihar High School. My mother said that I was big enough to go, and that I could, if I promised to behave. She did say that I could go. but that's just because another boy, a then best friend, Tuhin Patel was also going. I am not going to tell you much about the trip. Agreed that there was the five star hotel called 'Ajanta ambassador', and the total of six movies we saw while travelling by an air-conditioned tour bus, and ofcourse, the caves, minarets, temples and other things were really wonderful, yet the night walk is the only thing worth talking about.

It was organised at the very time that scary things incline to happen. Midnight. It was a ten minute walk. You may feel that that’s not a very long time. Start walking. Stop after ten minutes. You will be surprised at where you will land up. Imagine such a long walk, through the jungle, alone! Yes, we were to do it alone. Three sirs went ahead first. They were to receive the boys at the other end. The boys would be sent one at a time, to walk alone. After ten minutes, another was sent behind him. And thus, eight boys went before me, and if anyone who reads this knows rudimentary maths, it was around 1:20 now. (Ten minutes per boy, remember?). It was my turn next. I sidestepped, and pushed Tuhin in front… you know, to make him go ahead, and buy me some time to collect my guts. 1:30 came before that time (before I could collect my guts). Yet, I ventured bravely into the dark, slimy and (I admit) scary forest, alone, without any illumination. Well, okay, I had the 'indiglo' on my watch, but that didn't exactly serve the purpose. After about a minute, a branch started shaking. No matter how much one resolves that there are no ghosts, no monsters, and nothing as such that can jump out of the darkness and swallow you whole, one always starts being afraid at the reality of the situation. I swear by god it was shaking. I was afraid. I was very afraid. 

But steeling my resolve, I went ahead. Big mistake. I heard a wildboar… atleast thought I did. Whatever it was, it sounded inhuman and went snort… snort… snort… I ran back the way I had come as fast as I could, and admitted to the teacher that I couldn't go further. The teacher started laughing, and told me to go ahead, and that nothing was there, and that I was acting like a child. The remaining boys started laughing. I almost started crying. Hats off to this thing they call self - esteem. It stopped me from breaking down and howling.

Then, it struck. Tuhin Patel  had gone before me. I wouldn't put it out of his reach, to scare me like that. How foolish I had been! I went ahead. I waited for the branch to shake. It didn't. Till now, I do not know why… so I continued forward, thinking that Tuhin had given up the game. But sure as anything, the wildboar started snorting. I squared my shoulders, looked into the bush from where it was coming, and said something that is not fit for publishing here, or indeed anywhere that a civilized eye sets its sight upon. Doing that was a big mistake…

There wasn't a wildboar behind that bush.

Neither was Tuhin. 

The whole scaring students routine was part of the walk;

It was one of the Sirs.

Bing

 

(Note, for the purpose of this narration, A, B, C, and D are four friends, whose identities are kept secret in order to 'protect their privacy' (read self-respect).

 

Sometimes in life, people have this thing in the body triggered, and all vigilance of dignity are forgotten and they reduce to laughter, insane, uncontrollable laughter. Not a mere sudden flicker of smile, a fifteen on the equivalent of the Richter scale for laughter. Guts feel as if they are being wrenched inside out and one really wonders why the lungs are not exploding…

They say laughter is the best medicine. Maybe people are getting an overdose. Every day, when I head over to school, early morning. While I am worrying about half - finished geography homework, there is the laughter club howling in the middle of the park. Once upon a time, there used to be hordes of people gathered there, now the people have dwindled to about fifteen. I cannot control the chortle that escapes me as I go past them (I do not even try to). Not because of the dwindled numbers, but because the people there are howling, cackling, tittering and giggling as loudly as their bodies can permit. And they are also flailing their arms all the time. THAT is good for the health.

Atleast some scientific studies says so. Studies that do not take into account extremely perverted people that laugh when they see someone slipping. Or someone gets his Parker filched. Or someone gets bowled out when aiming for a six in cricket (No, D, that is not from personal experience). Or a dog howls at a car that came too close for comfort. And these same people simply refuse to understand the simplest of jokes, and invariably ask 'what happens next' after the climax of every (meant to be funny) narration. But they bend over laughing if you say 'bing'. And they laugh at you again if you ask what it means. A and B used to drag themselves early morning to the laughter club, and stopped after ten days. Maybe they had too much to laugh (I used to play cricket then). Maybe they found the early mornings disheartening. Whatever the reason, they quit. C and D laughed at them for quitting…

A and B get the joke… sometimes. C and D do not, no matter how many times it is explained to them. The annoying 'what happens next' question was asked after I told them all about a person who sees two headlights of a lorry and drives his motorbike between the two thinking they are two scooters going side by side… And this behavior of C and D makes A and B (and me) laugh. After this happened a couple of times, C and D understood when a joke was in the air by the inflection in the speaker's tongue, and they laughed, even though they didn't quite get the joke. This they do either from courtesy or to prevent themselves being looked upon as idiots. And then they laugh again in the (very rare) eventuality of understanding the joke. This culture seems to be spreading everywhere and making a huge mockery of the talent they call 'sense of humour'…

Bing.