About Today

Today was a good day at work for everyone. People got their salaries a day late. People were telling each other that they got the 'credited' messages and shouting to each other across bays that 'salary aa gya'. A whole bunch of people are going to get drunk tonight, and people have applied for leaves tomorrow also. So, tomorrow is also going to be a great day. I just hope that there is less shouting in office. I paid off, and shut up my landlord, who was asking me for 2000-1000 Rs like my friends do at the end of the month. 

Yesterday, I was walking to the station when an electric rickshaw picked me up. I wanted to walk but did not have the heart to say no to him. I tried the popular Japanese probiotic Yakult for the first time. This was one of the celebratory things ordered by a colleague to celebrate the salary deposit. The bottle looks like the small, fat dick of the Laughing Buddha, and whatever is inside tastes like something coming out of such a dick. Therefore, drinking Yakult is gay, hence proved. 

In the evening, I gave a very sad party to two unwilling colleagues, at a McDonalds in a food court that opened near office. There is also an Udupi Uphar coming out there (which a colleague read as Achar Uphar for some reason), hope it opens soon. We just had two strawberry juices and a large fries. The other two were reluctant to eat or drink anything despite repeated prompting, and actually I did not want anything too! Classic Abilene paradox. At least we got to bitch about Happy Meals and how McDonalds lies to little kids by saying the meals pack in a toy when it is actually a book! Fuck You McDonalds with a peri peri potato fry. Akshit remembered how the toys from McDs were long lasting, and how his parents entertain any kids at home with the toys, which are the only ones to have survived for so many years. 

He also told me some funny things. Apparently while crushing hash, some people would deliberately deposit some in their fingernails, and then extract them to put them in a bidi. I had heart of an anta, which is the smallest unit of smokable hash. A smaller unit is a chanta, which is half the amount of hash you would put in a j or a chillum. Now I heard of the head of the fly, or makhi ki sar, which is a tiny granule of hash that you can apparently smoke, presumably to get a nanodose or a placebo kick. Such people deserve to be kicked fr real, with a leg. 

The second funny thing he told me was a joke on a Freudian Slip. While putting in the dateline, which is and really should be known as the placeline as New Delhi in an article, I ended up writing New Scientist. My work friend said "That is a Freudian Slip, where you replace a word with mother". It is a joke. He said mother instead of other. Haha. Fuck that shit. 

Got a fuck ton of post-budget quotes from deep tech, AI, Fintech, Agri, VC leaders, NGOS and random companies that I never heard of, and then deleted them all promptly. If I have not heard of your company, I am not carrying your quote, sorry lol. I need to go on a rant against Windows one of these days. I also hate browsers saving urls for Web 2.0 sites, which is very irritating. Every time I open up Netflix, I end up in the same episode of The Rookie, every time I open up Spotify, I end up in the same Joe Rogan episode with Graham Hancock and a poor, battered skeptic, and every time I open up X, I ended up on the same post that I posted long ago, because that is just what the browser remembers. Come on Vivaldi, at least you can do better than that! 

I like fat men, because the identity of a fatty is going to be a fatty no matter how much they earn, what they achieve in life, and how much of a pedo they are. Also, after Epstein, pedos are essentially any rich fucker. GG Epstein.