caller tunes

If you have an orange cell, and I mean a cellphone that has an orange sim card, not a cellphone in that stupid color, and the sim card is…
Ok screw it, get a bloody orange sim card, so if you have an orange sim card, 123 is the last number you might want to dial. First o all, it drains you of six rupees every minute, and second of all, the menu is so fucking long. Almost for a minute and a half, the stupid thing babbles on about astrology, and cricket, and news, and dating, and caller tunes and loads of other services that only mentally retarded people use.
I wanted to set a caller tune, California dreaming. Liked the song very much. Some people do call me retarded. Some people just call me, and for their benefit, I wanted to arrange the orange network to play them the song. It was not a service that I was using. It was a bloody fuckin service that people who call me are using. There can be a couple of jokes made about people calling me mental, and people calling me, and people calling me to call me mental, but I have no mood to crack them, and also, I already have. The point being, I was mental enough to get the ridiculous idea that anyone who calls me should hear a song instead of a boring tring tring, exactly like the orange ad tells you (no wisecracks, even from me) and I fell for it. So I called, and spent forty five filthy bucks, just to get the stupid song on. And after that, I have to spend thirty bucks every month just to keep it active, and all this is within my first three free caller tunes, after I set one more, by which time I will be rotting in hell, I have to pay ten bucks for every caller tune I set. The worst part is that the bloody synthetic girl who synthetically navigates the abnormally long menu for me bloody laughed synthetically when I went for the international option.
Someday, I am going to put tar on the face of the guy who owns orange. More so because of the continuous stream of SMSes. They advertise that they will send only offers that are “beneficial to the customer” when they came under the public scanner for disturbing people too much. Assholic bastards.