Marketing dept

I am NOT supposed to blog about this, but I just have to. Our college has a fest - and they pull through pretty fine every year. YOu get to look at exactly how uly the picture is once you are behind the scenes. Don't make any mistakes, My college is one of the best in Mumbai (JAM rated it second for my course (but that's probably because a senior wrote the article)), and the fest is really one of the biggest in the city... and I am on the Comp Admin. That's Computer Administration. Know these two (get this: seniors) girls from Marketing come up to me and ask me to send this company a Patronship letter. Now this is a pretty good company, and the dough expected is to the tune of forty grand. These are the various drafts that the letter went through before it was finally posted. They kept providing new ideas, each worse than the one before that. They kept tweaking it to make it look better, but it only got worse. The final product was stupid, but still less stupid than it ought to be. I didn't help, and I am damned sure that i could have done a better job - and quicker - but the consignment leader had made us promise not to interfere in each other's tasks. Still, it becomes impossible to do this, when the people working ask you your opinion. I cannot exactly sacrifice the image of my college (I have no wonder how it got that) by keeping mum, so i gave my advice ONLY when it was asked, which, believe me, took more self restraint than keeping me from buying a fully functional motorised helicopter for a measly grand and a half.

Anyway, so here is Marketing letter Take I:

Dear santosh.
Hi, how are you. this is pammi here, who had just called you an hour ago, and had spoken about the patronship leeter (No mistake there). please give the letter your kind consideration, and the price is negotiable. we accept payment in kind or even cash.
sorry for the inconvinience caused (What the bloody fuck was THAT line about?).
thanking you
yours sincerely,
pammi:[phone number]
pushpa:[phone number]


Take II

Hi santosh.
this is pammi here, we had just called you an hour ago, and had spoken about the patronship letter. we have attached the patronship letter to this letter. please give the letter your kind consideration, and the price is negotiable. we accept payment in kind or even cash.


pammi:[phone number]
pushpa:[phone number]


yours sincerely,

pammi

Take III

Dear santosh.
this is pammi here, this is regarding our phone call to you. we had just called you an hour ago, and had spoken about the patronship letter. we have attached the patronship letter to this letter. please give the letter your kind consideration, and the price is negotiable. we accept payment in kind or even cash. please call us on this number.

pammi:[phone number]
pushpa:[phone number]


yours sincerely,

pammi


note: later drafts had various capitalisations, and a slight change in the position of commas and full stops in the totally wrong areas. The beggening of the sentences were capitalized, but the names were not.


After that, Pammi calls up Santosh from Pushpa's cell, leaving him totally confused on who to call back the next day. And By the way, they aske HIM to call THEM.

I have a gut feeling about the real world - and it isn't a very nice one.