Food in Delhi sucks

First of all, Delhi does not understand the concept of a thaali. For Delhi, a thaali is the same as a plate, so every meal is a thaali. Parathas with sabji and onion rings is a thaali. 

Delhi does not understand the concept of a salad. Onion rings are salad. 

Salad, according to Delhi

Delhi does not understand the concept of raita. Whipped curd with salt, pepper and mustard seeds count as raita, Delhi restaurants skimp on on curry leaves and chillis. What's more, they are even stingy with the portions. 

An Idli in Delhi costs 150 bucks, and there is only one place so far that does not pass of some gooey liquid trudge as chutney, and that is Carnatic Cafe. 

People suggest the Andhra Bhavan, Tamil Nadu House or the Karnataka Sangha... maybe they are good for non-veg food, I do not know, but their chutneys suck, their idlis are dry, their vadas are like mouldy rickshaw tyres, their dosas are waay to thick, almost like parathas, their bisibele bhaath is sambhar rice, their tomato rice is sticky and too red, and they do not have chitrana or puliyogare. Even their curd rice sucks. I miss being able to go to any restaurant in the corner to enjoy some good, healthy South Indian food, or Idlis for 20 bucks that you get in Bengaluru. In Delhi, dry flaky idly with really sad chutney is a minimum of 150 bucks. 

There are three Karnataka Bhavans, but all of them are outright liars and thieves. Their "kosambri" is again, onion rings. They send appalam or papad instead of sandige. All the rotis here are thick, not the delicate phulkas you get in Karnataka or Gujarat, even in Gujarat Bhavan, which is actually the best of the lot. 

So, people have told me to eat the food that North India is good for... yeah well, see the first three points. After coming here, I could not finish my food for the first week. I just cannot stand the food here. 

As my dad says, once the parathas stop being hot (which is like 5 minutes in the winters), then they can be used as footwear. 

Continental? The garlic bread is small and thin. North Indian? How much gluten can you possibly consume? Also, they do not understand accompaniments - salad, raita etc. Most things are thick and rubbery. The only consistently safe, good things to eat are chole, dal makhani, kadi and parathas.. there is only so much of that a person can consume! Chinese? Well, that is okay tbh, but the quantities are bad, and the good ones are expensive. 

Also, there is a reason it is called Delhi Belly. So do not give me that crap. Delhi food sucks, and everyone knows it. 

If there is one thing Delhi restaurants do not skimp on, its the paneer. The alu and methi parathas have paneer. The dal khichdi has paneer. The poha has paneer. The fruit salad has paneer. The pizzas and sandwiches have paneer even if it is not mentioned on the menu! Come on, I like my paneer tikkas, but seriously Delhi, paneer is not salt. 

Then I miss the Maharashtrian food. It is only in Mumbai-Thane that you can get good veg kholapuri. Because in Kholapur itself, there is no such dish. In Delhi, it is available, in some restaurants, but it is just mixed vegetables. I enjoy my butter naans with veg kholapuri only, so that option is unavailable for me as well. :(

A vada pav in Delhi is veg patty in a flaky, dry pav. The pav bhaji and misal pav taste the same. There is no option for extra pav in most restaurants, let alone rasa or usal. The misal is a brown trudge without any usal in it, only God knows how they make it. At times the pavs are minuscule, so they give three pavs with the "misal" or tomato bhaji. I mean who serves three pavs? Delhi. 

Look at the picture and what they actually send!

Mumbai Goli Vada pav is the biggest fraud here. Liars. Cheaters. 

All the restaurants on Swiggy are frauds and cheaters. The cloud kitchens have multiple outlets with different rates serving from the same place. The portions, packaging and contents are rarely the same as the images shown. 

There are just a few places that actually serve good food. There is Etsu, Carnatic Cafe, Mandarin Oak, Sly Granny and Caterspoint. Even in most of these places, the portions are underwhelming. There is simply not a good place to order a thaali from. 

So to anyone who says otherwise, food in Delhi sucks. I suspect there will be a part II of this, because I have to eat.