Anti- Jara proof

The yoghurt from sea-water machine:
The site claims that this Jara da Cimrman fellow was able to invent a machine that converted sea water to yoghurt, of all things.

The constituents of sea water are:


Sulfate 0.649
Fluoride 0.001
Potassium 0.38
Bicarbonate 0.14
Sodium 10.556
Strontium 0.013
Bromide 0.065
Magnesium 1.272
Chloride 18.98
Borate` 0.026
Calcium 0.4

All figures are in milligrams per liter

And the constituents of Yoghurt are:

Fat 27200
Cholesterol 56
Sodium 672
Carbohydrates 39400
Protein 7440

For one KG of Yogurt, in milligrams. This can be approximated to one litre of sea water. The only thing common in both sea water and yogurt is sodium. It would take 63.660 liters of sea water just to get the sodium content of Yogurt. Basically, there is no way on earth that such a machine can exist, and the process would be equivalent of converting lead into gold…

The squirrel powered submarine:
The squirrels derived their energy from a single Hazelnut is a grand total of 9 Calories. Supposing squirrels eat as much Hazelnuts as they can stomach, and Squirrels stomachs usually having a capacity of 3 grams, we will allow Jary’s squirrel’s to have a capacity of 5 grams, for both convenience, and allowances for any new species he might have discovered. So that’s a total of 30 calories or 130 kilojoules per squirrel. Supposing, absolutely all the energy consumed by the squirrel is used to propel the submarine, and as 96 squirrels were used, you have a total of 2880 calories at your disposal, or 12480 Kilojoules. Now, even a small sub weight 1700 tonnes that’s equivalent to 1727285 kilograms. Now considering that it was only a five ton submarine, including space for 96 squirrels, Jary, and the yogurt machine (The size would be considerably reduced because of the lack of a proper propelling engine), you still have 5085.25 Kilos of weight to propel on squirrel power.

Using the conventional diesel fuel, to travel at a speed of fifteen knots, it would take 80 gallons an hour, for a similar sized Sub. That works out to1213890 kilocalories or 4822020 Kilojoules per hour. At this rate, the number of squirrels necessary to propel Jary’s Sub would be 37093, not 96. The 12480 Kilojoules obtained from the squirrels, should be obtained every hour, on the hour, for the sub to move forward at a speed of
0.38 knots. Now the diesel powered sub, at 15 knots would move at 27.78 kilometers per hour. The squirrel powered sub, provided it is moving at all, is moving at a rate of 0.61 kilometers per hour. Now to traverse the 16000 kilometers from Hamburg to the Bermuda triangle, would take 24 days or 575.95 hours. The squirrel powered sub would take 1092.89 days, close to 3 years, or 2629.5 hours, as compared to the “days” supposedly taken by Jary to cross the distance.

Consider also, these appeals to common sense:
1) No other scientist was clever enough to invent THIS
2) Jary could have easily helped the squirrels by jumping onto the contraption himself

Now that Jary has reached the Bermuda triangle, in his squirrel powered submarine, there remains the small business of making the hyperspace jump onto the moon.

Ok, wormholes may or may not exist, wormholes are basically a tunnel between two blackholes. So you need a blackhole on the earth, AND a blackhole on the moon, AND a wormhole in between them. Once you have all this, the squirrel powered sub would have ended up on the moon for sure, but the thing is, that in case of such a thing, NASA would have realized this particular peculiarity long ago, before sending people to the moon because:
1) The water sucked up from the blackhole would have gone to the moon, along with various aquatic life. It is unlikely that only the sub travels through this wormhole.
2) Dust from the moon would have traveled to earth. Jara, could have used the same worm-hole to easily come back home.
3) You are talking about a bloody blackhole on the surface of the earth. You would, in that case have no chance to come up with such an insane fabrication, the entire Solar system would have ceased to exist, along with the special large tummied, and high calorific output variety of squirrels of Jara.