bday

I went up to the terrace to catch some fresh air, starlight and inner peace. God had other plans for me and sent me mosquitoes. But the sky was so clear that the stars were not twinkling. Funny how tiny almost invisible points in the sky are giant furnaces with billions of nuclear explosions.



Went up eighteen and came down nineteen. Much like Queen Victoria, who went up treetops a princes and came down a queen.



First, some resolutions. Never really felt the need for them, so this is like the first time I’m actually doing them:



1) Watch more cartoons – never tire of them. Wonder why I grew out of them. I love Swat Kats and Tom and Jerry. I shouldn’t let the hindi stop me.

2) Start drinking – doing this because of this guy who died because he gave up.

3) Eat pickles – I always forget to put the pickles in my dish. Now I won’t. I love pickles and I will remember to eat them more often.

4) Look at stars, learn constellations – was too busy to go to the terrace of late, and am jealous of friends who can recognize constellations. Can only recognize the plough… want to be able to do them all.

5) Save water, Electricity – why not do something I know I can pull off…



Has been one hell of a year… took a pretty big career decision when I got into the BMM course. Funny how you look back at what you had said about the course throughout the year…



Went to a women empowerment seminar, a non-fiction writing seminar, a bloggers meet where I met the author who spoke at the non-fiction writing seminar, went to an anti-coke seminar, and although all of this is not in the same league, a Bryan Adams concert.



I ended up angering Mizoram dog eaters, humoring Harry Potter fans who found it funny that I was incredulous of all the Harry Potter porn, and offended faggot-haters for taking a its-natural stance on homosexuality. Also got some material I came up with pirated by this sicko godforsaken assfucked bastard who just copy pasted my shit on his blog.



Tried many new things this year:















Oh yeah, had a LOT of fun this year.



Made friends pee in Mail Boxes….







Assumed power on loo-land on commode-castle in my toiletseat-throne.







Found the office of a Doctor whose parents hated him and named him after his origin







Contemplated ear growth, stole the Mona Lisa, invented a technique that allows any Rubick's Cube to be solved in under five minutes, made a totally usable lightsabre in five minutes flat (using a dupatta, a lungi and a curtain road), made a normal lightsabre, built a geodesic dome that took up half my living room, then converted it into an igloo, and finally, penned a list of a hundred favorite things which got unformatted due to the crappy wordpress importer.



Had fun with photoshop



















Encountered Ghosts







Talked to friends from med school

This means that all the formalin gets squeezed out. My friend once rested his hands on the stomach of his cadaver and just as he applied a little too much pressure on the stomach, the formalin flows right out of the poor dead fellow’s ass.

Visited many wonderful places





















I fought against myself with lightsabres (I Won)







Collected cattle bones







And nuggets of nonsense I found hidden deep within my posts… actually got bored reading my own blog.

There should have been an idiot friendly universe, or at least, all of us should have remained idiots.

I have always thought of political correctness as a politically correct way of saying something totally incorrect.

Found out that my friends think I am a psycho capable of binding and torturing other people after all

99% of all sex is basically something pornstars do so that other people can masturbate.

Dakota Fanning is more conceited than Aishwarya Rai, but then Aishwarya Rai is more of a nine year old.

Hey thought for the day: Love is worse than Vodka

Then we took a cab to Jai Hind. What a rotten motto... "we will and we can" It should have been "we can and we will" if at all they had to involve willing and canning. On second thoughts, it is actually cool that they put determination ahead of potential.

For the first time ever, went through the embarrassing prospect of reading cosmo.

Sixteen out of seventeen covers show a very deep cleavage, and if the seventeenth one did, J’lo would be wearing nothing.

For a few glorious hours, thought I had hit upon a cure for AIDS, later coming to know that they had already tried in that direction.

And here I was thinking I've hit upon an idea to combat AIDS effectively. Enzyme inhibiters exist, and are one of the few methods of treating AIDS patients.

Plucked elephant hair. Do not ask why. Won’t tell.



But elephant hair, is really like smooth wire. Just outside thane station, there was an elephant. I went up to the fellow, and purchased two strands of elephant hair from him. He plucked it out of his head or her head, I can’t exactly tell with elephants



I also dreamed that I had been abducted by Aliens. The freakish thing about dreaming such a dream is the small tiny window of possibility that opens up that it really happened. You cannot tell yourself it was only a dream, because you don’t want to be fooled by them. Then again, you may be fooling yourself, but that simply is not as bad… maybe that is why there are so many abduction accounts.



Blogged right through college

And I am in a course that used to be taken up by girls who wanted an interim education till marriage. Biggest risk in my life - hope BMM pays off.

I can’t believe this - Tomorrow is the first day of college, and I am going to enter it knowing that my life is perfect right now.

In the rare occasion that the toilet had to be used, because of the 400 limitation on humankind's bladder, we had to 'dissect' in one of the stalls. This is a gross thing involving the breakdown of faecal matter by projection of liquid with high urea, albumin, bile salts and glucose content...

[This was said post last term, applies now too]

Just realised something about my previous term. I have learnt nothing. Nada. Zilch.

The stupid syllabus seems to be set by a lesbian African and a feminist naxalite.

The clever idea of mine to study off the net did not really pay of. Google's low search relevancy, an affinity to throw up irrelevant porn, and Freud's theories with spectacular jumps of logic all combined to give me far more interesting a pastime than studying psychology.

Contemplated suicide

In those darkest hours, when bowl containment was at its toughest, I half-seriously contemplated jumping off and making it look like an accident.

And had a few near death experiences

Almost drowned once when I thought I could "hop" through the deep end of a swimming pool, breathing every time I surfaced.

Saw other people dieing instead

He made a weird movement with his hands, I cannot understand the purpose of it, and right in front of my eyes, with his body barely two inches away from me, he suddenly fell off.

Spent the day getting over Dumbledore's death, by making fun of it, and telling friends about it before they read the book. Got punched in the stomach for that...

Indulged in some 3D art







Loved this fountain I made using Poser and Bryce.







Titled goodbye







That's a Raptor







Thats an Authentic Indian Railway station







And THAT is a Mumbai Local



Made half-hearted resolutions I did not keep







And here is me like few have seen me







Will stop blogging now and spend my birthday more fruitfully.