I was speculating and contemplating on weird ways to shave post the swiss knife shave (which wasn't entirely succesful) and here is a short list but hopefuly one that will be stamped with a don't-try-this-at-home kind of messages. Designed to come out with the most macho method to shave ever.
Presenting: The Madanapalle guide to ubermacho shaving techniques
10) A knife is passe. Try using a chainsaw. Even a small one will do.
9) Borrowed from a poem I cannot recall: hammer the bristles in and bite them off from the inside.
8) Burn the hair out using a candle
7) Sandpaper the bristles away every morning
6) Get your hands on any radioactive material (backs of ACs, a bunch of mobile phones, a mocrowave or a power plant) and irradiate your face for the permanent shave*. Alternatively, bribe a doc into chemotherapy**
5) Stick your face into a microwave. Turn it on first. Be sure to remove anything in your face with reflective surfaces like earrings, noserings and glasses.
4) Stick your face into a pirhana pond. Wear a shower cap just in case.
3) Wash your face in polar regions, and then have someone punch the frozen bristles out. When faced with a scarecity of someones, wrestle with the local polar bears (works only in the north pole).
2) Item No. 8, but use a blow torch instead
And finally, the winner, and I trust that girls are not being wussies when they claim the pain in this, never expirience it myself;
1) Wax your face
Bonus options: Lawnmover, gator, kamikaze sword, industrial laser cutter, vacuum cleaner, tweezers, great whites, local barbers and anything from a S&M kit.
* Only fun when done unprofessionally or at home
** Was not item no.5 for similarity to item no. 6http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.spell.gif
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1 comment:
Ya right which 1 did you opt for ??
I know you already tried knife..
So what's next on the list....
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