Do guys have to pee with their pants down?

Or so was the query from a curious individual of a totally guessable gender.



Restrooms have been covered on this blog, but not the actual act of male urination, which I thought was something no one would have any doubt ever, but I thought wrong. Or as Hitler would put it "Ich kann pinkeln oben stehend! selbst wenn ich eine kleine Penis habe!"



So what happens is that if you are a guy, and most guys have a fly (average length = 4 in.), usually with a zipper (sometimes with buttons), so you need to make ABSOLUTELY SURE (or things will go horribly wrong) that the fly is opened and then either (i) push down the elastic of the underwear or (ii) use the fly of the underwear (average length = 2 in.). The totally pussy way to pee would be to unbutton the pants, remove the belts and then proceeding, which is really not different from letting them pants drop. Usually, you wonder why you shiver after the piss (something to do with relieved thermoregulation and nerve endings in the dick), after which you stare at the wall in front thinking about something or the other, and then you are sure that you are absolutely relieved, you either (i) leave, and refill your bladder or (ii) play with the weewee for a while.



So guys don't have to drop their pants to pee, unless (i) they want to wet their pants or (ii) are two years old and not toilet trained or (iii) are of the inclination to pee sitting down, for the sake of the added convinience of being able to crap simultaneously or (iv) are not wearing any pants in the first place.



It is totally understandable that females cannot pee standing up, but there are some gifted people in this world who are hell bent on equalising the sexes (you can do that with dicks, but NOT with brains), so blare the trumpets, and drum a drumroll, and basically imagine the grand entry of an innovative product called:



TravelMate





Its basically a dick for girls, so you can pee without having to drop your pants, and doing nothing more than unzipping the fly. Wonder why girls have flys if they aren't used for peeing... but I guess that's a stupid question for my gender to ask. Anyway, the dick extension is available here.



In case you are a girl and are not of the inclination to purchase a dick extension, then this site has instructions to pee without having to sit down.



If you belong to the stupider gender, and in case anyone was wondering, yes, this post was to a delibrate attempt to piss you off.