(o)

Prostituting my blog, but HAD to put this up. Totally basic, useless and hilarious.

Are you male or female??????














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Not here stupid

Cloudlight navigation

Went to Yeoor on two bikes yesterday evening. Was fun... we saw fireflies, though didn't catch them this time around, local tribals who tried to scare us by warning us of an approaching leopard, a crab with a broken claw, which sounds like a nice title to a murder mystery, and most of all came back down without using the petrol, without lights and without sense. The road was illuminated by the clouds, which appeared red, because they were reflecting the light of the city back... spookier than moonlight.


Got wet in the rains today, and I think I must have a fragile constitution afterall, as I promptly contracted fever, which has not happened in a long time now. Bloody virus. Anyway, too weak to do anything, so will blog a 11 mile long web page... for the heck of it. cheers.



http://www.shoutwire.com/viewstory/17173/The_11_Mile_Webpage

Worn out keys on the keyboard?

10 favorite poems

Just thought I would blog these (in order):



10)



Survivor

Ian McGough

Everyday
I think about dying.
About Disease, starvation,
Violence, terrorism, war
The end of the world.

It helps
Keep my mind off things.

9)
Helas

Oscar Wilde

Hélas

To drift with every passion till my soul
Is a stringed lute on which all winds can play,
Is it for this that I have given away
Mine ancient wisdom, and austere control?
Methinks my life is a twice-written scroll
Scrawled over on some boyish holiday
With idle songs for pipe and virelay,
Which do but mar the secret of the whole.
Surely there was a time I might have trod
The sunlit heights, and from life's dissonance
Struck one clear chord to reach the ears of God.
Is that time dead?  lo! with a little rod
I did but touch the honey of romance—
And must I lose a soul's inheritance?

8)
Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening


Robert Frost.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it's queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. 

7)
Walking Song

JRR Tolkein

   The Road goes ever on and on
      Down from the door where it began.
    Now far ahead the Road has gone,
      And I must follow, if I can,
    Pursuing it with eager feet,
      Until it joins some larger way
    Where many paths and errands meet.
      And whither then? I cannot say.

6)

The Flea

John Donne

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
Me it sucked first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be;
Thou know'st that this cannot be said
A sin, nor shame nor loss of maidenhead,
  Yet this enjoys before it woo,
  And pampered swells with one blood made of two,
  And this, alas, is more than we would do.

Oh stay, three lives in one flea spare,
Where we almost, yea more than married are.
This flea is you and I, and this
Our marriage bed and marriage temple is;
Though parents grudge, and you, we are met,
And cloistered in these living walls of jet.
  Though use make you apt to kill me,
  Let not to that, self-murder added be,
  And sacrilege, three sins in killing three.

Curel and sudden, hast thou since
Purpled thy nail, in blood of innocence?
Wherein could this flea guilty be,
Except in that drop which it sucked from thee?
Yet thou triumph'st, and say'st that thou
Find'st not thy self nor me the weaker now;
  'Tis true; then learn how false, fears be;
  Just so much honor, when thou yield'st to me,
  Will waste, as this flea's death took life from thee.

5)

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

4)


We Wear the Mask


Paul Laurence Dunbar

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
          We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
          We wear the mask!

3)
The Hippopotamus Song

Michael Flanders

A bold Hippopotamus was standing one day
On the banks of the cool Shalimar.
He gazed at the bottom as it peacefully lay
By the light of the evening star.

Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair
His fair Hippopotamine maid.
The Hippopotamus was no ignoramus
And sang her this sweet serenade.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

The fair Hippopotamus he aimed to entice,
From here seen on the hilltop above,
As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice,
Came tip-toeing down to her love.

Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound
Of the song that they sang as they met.
His enamorata adjusted her garter
And lifted her voice in duet.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud.

Now more Hippopotami began to convene
On the banks of that river so wide.
I wonder now what am I to say of the scene
That ensued by the Shalimar side?

They dived all at once with an ear-splitting splash,
Then rose to the surface again,
A regular army of Hippopotami
All singing this haunting refrain.

Mud! Mud! Glorious mud!
Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood.
So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow,
And there let us wallow in glorious mud. 

2)

Invictus

William Earnst Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

1)

Andy Warhol

Wild  wild  bird
of  neon
strangers
at  his  feet ,

and  The  New  Yorker
writes

about  sex ,
it's  in  the  air

you  know .

Honorable Mention


The Best Poem You Ever Read
by wayoutwalt

Is not necessarily by Thoreau
Or for that matter Keats or Shelley
Or Edgar Allan Poe
It might not be amongst the
Dusty books there on the shelf
The greatest poem you ever read
May just be written by yourself

Did you ever write a poem?
That just made you softly sigh
Or was there one that emotion
Made you bittersweetly cry
Is there one that was born to you?
That made you wholly believe
Words weren't born long time ago
You yourself can conceive

This poem that I am writing
Is not the best there ever was
But few poems can do for me
What my own poetry does
When you think of Percey Shelly
And when you think of ole John Keats
Remember theirs is their own
Even if
You wish to match their feats

I hope the poetry you respect
From which have made you grown
I hope the greatest poem you ever read
Was one you call your own

The End (sentiment)

In spirit of the honourable mention



Western disturbances

Me

Born and raised cold
To worship the profane
A freezing, murky afternoon
Daylight reached the drain


And society lingers
Despite all the strain
Out of sync and out of tune
Another prejudice to sustain


Like staying safe inside
Mulling over the mundane
During a muddy monsoon
A mere mind driven insane


Blood red raindrops
And the hurts they contain
The insults they commune
The spoils of proud disdain


An obligation for sympathy
Perhaps parodied by the pain
Like a cloud cloaked moon
Or smoke strings in the rain 

What we do in Lit class

That's Anurag having a nap...






Rohit Balan showcasing clasroom windows used as hangers for the underwear of cunstruction workers.







That's a close up of the underwear.





The following is just to confuse poor harmonaly charged googlers into looking at old underwear in SIES college. Cheers. Hey... thats a good way to get rid of the porn menace, to google bomb it!



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81 pics in 15 posts is some kind of a record. Nobody will care really, bu7 wha7 7h3 h3ll.

Medico Fashion

A tradition of colleges in India, is one of holding a mix-match day every year, where the students are expected to wear the most atrocious clothing. A certain medical college in India took this to the extreme, by wearing, amonst all things, human remains:















There are more... and stories of pictures taken with disembodied heads used as masks, skin in people's shoes... the stories are endless... Chetan Bhagat should write on this.

Attack of the clones

Cloned!

A story in feet

Gimmick

Gimmick 1: LoeTobac... ciggies that apparently have permission to advertise because of the tagline "low on tobacco, high on life"... apparently it consists of very little tobacco and other smokable herbs... if there were non carcenogenic smokable herbs, everyone would already be doing it, so its a stupid thing to market a realistically "safe" ciggie, but these guys are doing it, and it serves as a nice gimmick, because loetobac is the rage... apparently they have plans to hand them out for free in front of colleges, got this from the tapri... now that's a dangerous thing to do... handing out ciggies... someone should look into this.



Gimmick 2: Ok so there is this small vada pav walla, right outside the southern end of Thane station, and I was passing the area looking for a chai place, when the guy outside was expirience enough to call out to me and tell me chai was served there... with a nod like he knew exactly what I wanted, which he did. While I was having the chai, I noticed the way everyone there was working together to market that place... its not different to write about the same techniques used in the vp place, but the techniques were different themselves... you know there is something going on when the amount of people the place was serving increased visibly in front of your eyes... the funny one was that the guy who called out to me got out about six bottles of water, and handed it out as free drinking to a bunch of thirsty travellers going somewhere... by doing this he created a crowd outside the shop, and people began to flock to the place, and soon a line built up for the puri bhaji... another guy called out "Puri Bhaji garam hai"... he was simply telling which food item was fresh... pretty decent way to go about things actually.




Gimmick 3: Why ciggies are good for the health: The more drastic the problem of cancer gets, the more is the world at large pressurized to find a cure... for cancers caused by other kinds of carcenogenic substances as well. So my smoking is helping your child chewing the end of pencils and swallowing the dyed flakes. Cheers.

x3

Just watched x3. Movies like x3, you are not satisfied no matter how many chars they show... you fall in love with even the more obscure ones, and this is without becoming a fan... Phoenix dies, everyone knew that, Angel comes into the open, XAVIER DIES, and so does Cyclopse. Now, cyclopse was one char that was never developed. The story is basically about the six x-men who are still at the institute after a mutant cure is discovered, believing in a dream of peaceful co-existence between mutants and humans, against Magneto, head of the brotherhood of mutants, who believes mutation is the cure... the debate is very well placed within the story... mutation is a part of evolution, but unfortunately, we don't posess the x-gene. Fans will notice obvious flaws in the story, but it will pass... amazing special FX, especially the start of the movie where Xavier and MAgnetor are both made younger. Another mutant was given the powers of levitating objects, but he only appeared in the background in one scene where Xavier is talking to Storm. Nice flick... nice parallels can be made to racism... but I'd rather go to sleep.

Krrish

The story: The chars were so underdeveloped, that I got no one's name except Honey's, who was an actress I could not recognize, so it does not matter... anyway, so Hrithik, Hrithik and Priety's son, lives with his Grandmother, Rekha, in a remote Manali villiage, because she wants to keep her grandson's inherited superpowers hidden. He can jump like hell, outrun horses, climb trees, call on birds, pluck flowers out of rainbows (a weird superpower, but there you have it) and suchlike. A creepy guy keeps coming to their old hometown to search for them, but is sent away without results. Nothing more is said about that for a long time. A bunch of kids come to enjoy at Manali, one of them decides to go paragliding alone, although she is an amateur, gets caught in a tree, the harness magically loosens itself and she is about to crash into the ground when Hrithik rescues her... some Kalicharan SFX antics later, he falls in love with her, she goes home to Singapore and loses her job for fooling around with faulty equipment in Manali for too long. After she looses her job, Honey, her friend, decides to use Krishna, by making Priyanka Chopra, the paraglider, call up Krishna and tell him that she loves him and asks him to come over to Singapore... Rekha forbids him, because his father was taken up by Nassiruddin Shah, a comp geek from Techtronics who wants to make a comp that sees into the future, and makes Hrithik 1 build it, but the lab catches fire and Shah's dreams come crashing down. Back home, Priety Zinta dies for some obscure reason. The next morning, Rekha is calmed down and lets Hrithik 2 head over to Singapore... where he can go under the condition that no one comes to know of his unspecefic special abilities. He goes and cannot resist showing off his martial arts skills for the sake of a young girl who needs an operation, and whose uncle is begging on the street for money. He gets the girl money, and the greatful uncle invites him to the great bombay Circus. Hrithik goes with Chopra, there is a song and dance sequence, which ends in the circus catching fire, because of the stray flame from a flame blower - like he won't notice it, and like they won't take the precaution. The result of this is that a bunch of kids... only... no adults, get stuck in the burning big top, and Krishna finds a mask of a joker, broken in a weird way, wears it, rescues the kids, and that's that. Singapore announces a load of money to the person who is revealed to be the masked hero, and the proof is apparently the person who will produce the mask where a broken piece of it will fit in, a rescued child having obtained it. Now I am bored to tell the story...



Special FX: PRetty damn good, they used standard cables most of the times, the physics was off when he jumped over the cars, he never put enough force on his thighs to propel himself through the air, and he just seemed to glide over the surfaces... cables were used during all the jumping shots, the flying, climbing, and jumping shots were all done using standard cables, so there really wasn't any cool special FX... I was under the impression that bluescreening was used, but it wasn't so... it was good but no real signature style... infact flaws were visible in places where Roshan stumbled... the double role sequences were well done, where the two Hrithik Roshan's fingers intertwirl... animation and fx garish and not well rendered. But it was passable.. a letdowner actually... I thought they had done a lot of technically brilliant stufff when I actually saw it, but it was really done in a simple way. Most of the time it was just Hrithik Roshan moving.



The funny things
1) Priety Zinta gets impregnated across space and time, with no contact with her husband



2) Father-son meetup not well done



3) Time trick well done, where the reveal the ending




4) Krrish feels no guilt or responsibility for getting the oriental guy killed




5) Nice mask story, nice superhero story, but botched up... a very unique superhero, who, is the superhero even when he is unmasked... but just in hiding... that is he does not have a non-super-hero alter-ego... which is an fucking amazing thing to do... damn impressed by that... like Spiderman, is Peter Parker when he wakes up, Batman is Bruce Wayne when he wakes up, Superman was considered special amongst the superheroes because he wore a mask to be a normal human, to hide his superpowers, which was apparently a critique on the entire human race... Krrish goes a step further... he is Krrish all the time.



6) Amazing dancing




7) No specifications or limitations of the superpowers, ranges from catching fish with bare hands (gollum), flying through the air with a blurred background (Star Wars V), walking over buildings with effortless ease (spiderman), making a girl marry him in 40 days (a USP), converting fictitious rainbow colors in flowers (another USP), and finally, being unable to distinguish between fish and underwear, shoes and other crap (?), and the ability to converse with animals (beastmaster).

Too much Virtua fighter

To

Pet names for genitelia

The Al Yancovic parody of "we didn't start the fire" has funny but crass lyrics about those corny names that are used to replace proper scientific names for the genitals. Take this extract from a poem for example:

Then he opens my thighs and kisses my belly
And puts his tool in my hand to make it knock at my door
Soon he is in the cave, and I feel pleasure approaching
He shakes me and trills me and hotly we both are working...

This is not from some jeuvenile fantasy, instead its from a classic, "The perfumed Garden", a very rare Arabic equivalent of the Kama Sutra. One thing that you realise is that words like "member", "tool", "machine", "cave", "chamber" and "hole" are all absolutely ancient petnames for genitelia, and not a recent occurance... what's more, it was considered more polite, even scientific than penis or vagina. Weird eh? Anyway, here is a hilarious poem I really wanted to blog about... it's about the two wives an entertainer has got and is moaning about:

By reason of my ignorance I have married two wives -

And why do you complain, O husband of two wives?

I said to myself, I shall be like a lamb between them;

I shall take my pleasure upon the bosoms of my two sheep,

And I have become like a ram betweentwo female jackals,

Days follow upon days, and nights upon nights,

and their yoke bears me down during both days and nights.

If I am kind to one, the other gets vexed.

And so I cannot escape from these two furies.

If you want to live well and with a free heart,

And with your hands unclenched, then do not marry.

If you must wed, then marry one wife only:

One alone is enough to satisfy two armies.

And also, something that might not be found anywhere else, a list of all those weird sexual positions in arabic, and some innovative ones which maybe even the KS cannot match:



El Asemeud: The stopperage

El Modefeda: Frog fashion

El mokefa: With the toes cramped

El Mokermeutt: Legs in the air

El Setouri: he-goat fashion

El loulabi: The screw of Archimedes

El kelouci: The summersault

Hachou en nekanok: The tail of the Ostrich

Lebeuss el djoureb: Fitting on the sock

Kechef el astine: Reciprocal sight of the posteriors

Neza el kouss: The rainbow arch

Nesedj el kheuzz: Alternative piercing

Dok el arz: pounding on the spot (WTF?) (hehe... what the FUCK?)

Nik el kohoul: coition from the back

El keurchi: Belly to belly

El Kebachi: ram fashion

Dok el outed: Driving the peg home

Sebek el heub: love's fusion

Tred el miche: Interchange in coition

Rekeud el air: The race of the member

El modakheli: the fitter-in

El khouariki: the one who stops in the house

Nik el haddadi: the smith's coition

El meheundi: the seducer



So in arrabic, Kechef el astine is apparently 69ing...



cheers.

Un Chat

Guess what in hell is happening