It is early in the morning, the Sun is yet to rise, the sky is gradually growing increasingly brighter, the warm yellow LED in my kitchen is still glowing like a trapped sun or an ancient bonfire, casting long, deep shadows across my modest hall. The early pre-monsoon rain is pitter-pattering on the flimsy fibreglass covering held down by stray bricks over the skylight in my 'compartment apartment'. This is also known as a barsatiya, it is an extra, shoddily constructed floor, that are leaky. This is fun, because the water seeps through the walls, creating patches of fuzzy fungal growth. Then the actual locations of the roof leaks shifts throughout the monsoons, requiring moving the buckets over time. First the paint, and then the plastering continuously falls of the ceiling, creating an internal rain of debris. The beds and other things have to be shifted around as well, away from the leaks. I have a poor lamp that seems to somehow attract water, because the roof starts to leak wherever I place it... it has shrunk considerably.
I am actually enjoying the experience, understanding the difficulties. This is exactly why I came to Delhi! The buckets of water are great! Rainwater harvesting. Also I like buckets, they come in so many shapes, sizes and colours. Getting buckets without handles is a fatal mistake. I like the round flat tubs, these are good for catching leaks from a wider area. Then I use a big, deep ones for the fast leaking places. Need a bunch of small ones for the newly leaking places. In a barsatiya, you understand the use cases for the various types of buckets! I think the whole bucket parameter space exists because of barsatiyas only.
I am typing all this after just smoking some herb out in the balcony. Got a bit wet, but not drenched. Also shivering a bit. I have recently been diagnosed with bronchitis. This great doctor has given me some kickass, strong meds, that is making me feel fit and fine. My condition was very bad just a couple of days ago. Now I am feeling alert, energetic and so alive! I am just super relaxed, super comfortable over an electric blanket, under a rajai, totally enjoying the buzz, along with the soundscape. The metronomic plops filling up the big bucket, and the hum of the electric pump, some birds waking up, and the distant chug of a train piercing through the city. I have an abundance of free time and freedom, and have no commitments. I am on sick leave, and this is the best I have felt ever lol, or at least since college.
About two days ago I really was struggling a lot. I had not eating properly since Sunday, when I puked after eating a bit of that stale curd rice from Bheemeshwara. On Monday, I could not go to work, and went into some kind of fever-dream state, had chaas and curd rice from Dosa Coffee... no bells and whistles (in the curd rice world this means sun-dried fried chilis and pomegranate arils), no sweet curd... just plain, simple and good old curd rice. On Tuesday, I went to work unwisely, and I ate maybe five to six spoonfulls of mixed dal rice. I should have eaten just the dal I feel now. At work my shoulder and back were paining. I ignored it through the day, and came home. On the way back I picked up a charger for a colleague from Nehru Place, that is still there with me.
Anyway... that night, I could not sleep or eat. The right side of my chest started paining too much. There was no position I could assume that allowed me to sleep. Somehow I got two partial cycles in. Was struggling a lot, tried the massager in two bursts, which gave me comfort. There was no way I was going to work tomorrow. The next day I fired up google maps and looked for a doctor. There was no clinic on one location. The next one, I went in there some weird woman asked me if I wanted a physiotherapist, I said no I wanted a doctor. She said there was no doctor at a community health centre, and I finally started winding through congested gullies towards this doc that allegedly exists, and stumbled across it by accident on a location not where it was indicated on Google Maps.
I have experienced this with ATMs and known coffee shops also (Blue Tokai lol), the locations are not exactly where the place is on Google Maps. Case in point, if you are sick and hurting, Google Maps is of no use.
Anyway, I finally found the doctor. I this point I can feel as if the right side of my lung has twisted up. Every time I take a deep breath, laugh, cough, or even move wrong, it pains like hell. There is some other drama ongoing there, a story worthy of a national award winning movie. The doctor is a Muslim, but no beard and topi. The only way I could tell was some Islamic collage with text overlaid that was framed at the apex position on his wall, over all the other certifications and posters. His patient is a woman who appears to be Hindu. Her husband is clearly a Muslim, with a kurta, beard, topi... all the signs. The doc and the husband are trying to convince the wife (who has a small baby in her arm, I just noticed), to break the fast, eat meals, and take her medicines. She negotiates, saying I will take the medicines but not break the roza fast. They both try to convince her in different ways, but she remains stubborn and steadfast about not breaking the fast.
The doc interrupts the consultation to address me. But all my pains are gone looking at the unfolding drama. At this point, I have to act and wince and gesture and say I have sever chest and shoulder pain on my right side, difficulty in breathing. He asks me to take a seat, while he sorts out the woman.
I am wondering if she is converted or just following her husband, like I cannot just assume. Even a traditional Hindu wife will not eat till her husband has eaten. The doctor tells her what to do, and hands over medications for both her and the babby. The husband understands that there is no point in arguing, he is both proud and amused. The woman tells the doctor what she will do. No one has really budged from their positions. Everyone walks away without compromising. This is sufficient material at least for an artsy short film shot in the style of Kiarostami.
Anyway, it is my turn. The doc makes me lift up my shirt, and my thermal undershirt prods around with the stethoscope, and asks me to go get an X-ray. There is this place called Noble Diagnostic Centre. It really lives up to its name. It feels like a posh place, everything is modern. There is this really cool Ganesha idol, who is wearing nice earrings, and has two long golden tusks. Most of the idols show one tusk half broken, typically close to the base. This one has a long tusk with just the tip broken, which is well historically accurate. Looking at this murti, one can imagine the tusk as being a fine tip used to write the Mahabharat, cut off in anger by Parshuram who wanted to meet Shiva, but stopped by Ganesha, who Shiva had asked to ensure he was not disturbed while sleeping. I feel bad for Ganesha, who gets into trouble every time his parents ask him to guard them. The really cool thing about this Ganesha is he is writing out on a book, an Om and a Swastika, and holding a battle axe in the other hand. Looking at the murti you feel like the Genesha has four hands, but it is only two. This is confusing for a second till you realise that Ganesha is using his trunk to hold up the book. It is a nice, unique, thoughtful and detailed murti.
Anyway, these Noble Diagnostic Centre folks are attentive, kind professionals who know what they are doing. They provide the best service, top-class. They serve the lowest socio-economic class though. Their rates are super affordable, and the staff is committed to providing the necessary service, and understand that they are doing something beneficial to society. The clinic is itself located on the outskirts of what in Mumbai would be called a slum. It is a low-income area. They are truly Noble, and they are doing great work, countering all the bad juju of the shitty ISKON temple. They have everything, ultrasound, x-ray, blood tests... I should have checked all the boxes, but initially just did the x-ray.
This required waiting for about an hour. I sat and waited. When my turn came I had to tie the hair on my head, press my chest against a plate, and position my arms behind my back, breathe in and hold. The guy took one look at the X-ray and asked me if I had TB before. He would go on to ask me two more times during the discussion. I said no each time. He said something was very off, and that he would not hand me the X-ray, and that I would have to wait for the full report, which would be available at 18:30 hours IST. This was still about 11:00 hours. I limped back home dejected, and spent a horrible few hours, with sporadic bursts of sleep out of pure exhaustion. Could not eat or drink anything. I kept drinking and throwing up water.
Finally, went back to the clinic, got the X-rays, it was bronchitis, inflammation in right lung, infection of some kind, and some buildup of water. I had not clocked the fact that the left lung extends for longer than the right because of the stomach and the diaphragm, and had thought that literally a part of my right lung had collapsed or shrunk lol. Basically, had been too scared. Got it back to the doctor, who said TB had to be ruled out, so had to do ultrasound and blood test next. He recommended that I get these tests done at a govt TB hospital nearby. He gave me some anti-biotics and painkillers for immediate relief, along with some third tab.
This was the medicine I needed. Instant relief. Everything feels fine. Im at the top of my game. I don't need the rest of the treatment and tests I feel. But I have to go through all of this. Im just glad I can sit and sleep and function normally. Previously, just lying down on the bed and pulling on the blanket, felt like quite a task. To get up, I would be lifting my thigh, catching it with both of my arms, and then, lowering the leg, using my tailbone as a fulcrum to lift my body up. Now, I could lie down easily! I felt great! I played games, watched One Piece on Netflix, ordered curd rice from another nice place called Sambarpot, that gives the masala from masala dosa as an extra, which goes great with the curd rice. Could sleep and eat properly for the first time in three days. I was feeling despondent and like I was on the verge of a heart attack. If only the Noble guy had given me the X-ray earlier I felt, but now I know that I should have just gone back to the doc, explained that the report was coming in the evening, and to give me something for relief at the moment.
The next day, that is yesterday, 19 March, I got up early in the morning and went to the Nehru Nagar TB Hospital, next to the Vinoba Puri Metro Station. A kind rickshaw driver dropped me there, because he knew I was suffering, even though I asked him to just leave me at the previous signal. The place looks like it is frozen in time in the 1920s or something. It looks like a colonial building, but was only started in 2014 lol. The registration was not working, a queue was building up, and the place just had bad juju. Despite all my education, wisdom and knowledge, I did not go there with a mask. Everyone else there had a mask. So I got the fuck out of there.
I walked over to Noble. On the way, I got a bit confused in the Subway, that connects to the Vinoba Puri metro in the middle lol, and crossed an old abandoned building that I always wanted to explore but never saw from up close. Also this place had one of those Chandrayaan 3 street arts that showed off the might and glory of India's operations in out space with the pictorial reference of a Space Shuttle. This has mostly worn out now, which is a loss to no one.
So the Noble people say they will do the ultrasound, and the tests are delivered 'hand-to-hand' which means then-and-there, but there is a wait time of about nine patients. I asked if I can go home and come back later, they said sure, give us your number, we will call you. I went back home, drank a big glass of mosambi juice, then ordered three hot cups of coffee, came back home and discovered that both my coffee cups gifted to be my my elder sister from Dilli Haath were cracked. I fished around in my box of event goodies and found an Asus ROG coffee mug with a retarded temperature sensor (it just takes a bit of extra time to reach the accurate temperature). Well, debut of the mug, all good, just one J down and an hour later, I get the call.
Again, I take a cycle rickshaw, go to the clinic, wait for an hour, play some games, admire that beautiful Ganesha murti, and get my ultrasound done. When I say it pains, the doc jabs it in there right then. The whole procedure was smooth and AI assisted. The guy pointed out infection and some little water buildup in the lungs. He suggested a blood test as well. I get pricked, the blood is drawn, there is a vacuum before the blood starts building up. I then go home... take my second dose, sleep, game, rest through the day. In the evening, I go to the Raju Vaishnav Dhabha, treat myself with Medhu Vada, which is actually Uddin Vada in Karnataka, and here is called just Sambhar Vada, which I don't understand, how u can make a Vada out of Sambhar dude. Anyway, Raju Vaishnav Dhabha was playing devotional music in praise of Lord Ram, has a big banner saying Jai Shri Nath Ji, and is situated bang opposite the Iskon temple. I mean what a colossal fraud, that Prabhupada asshole chutiya said all Nobel Prize winners are donkeys. He himself looks like the bloated scrotum of a langur, and idk what cheap kicks he did before writing his version of the Gita, with hallucinatory commentary that has nothing to do with the source material. Anyone who wants to read a reconciliation of the various traditions made suitable for modern lives are better off reading Aurobindo's version, rather than the toilet paper that is Prabhupada's version.
I hope the people who spend their lives jacking off to religion and nationality are in some way exposed to the exquisite beauty of neutron stars, the cores of dead stars so dense that mountains are 2 cm high, that can suddenly speed up and glitch, and forged all the gold that they love so much.
(I took a two hour nap at this point lol).
After the hearty meal, which is over at 18:40 hours IST, I catch another e-rickshaw to the T-point, and walk to Noble clinic to say hi to the studios Ganeshaji for the third time that day. I pick up by blood tests, my RBCs are enlarged lol. My liver is also slightly enlarged. This is not very extreme, but both are signs of consistent and sustained alcohol use lol. I really have to start drinking less than two times a month, even just the weekends is not good enough. Actually, I feel like it is time to ditch alcohol for good. This frees up a large portion of my rest of life budget, and I have had hard alcohol only once over the last year, mostly because of a lack of availability of original Bacardi White here, following the Delhi liquour scam, and the tourism board operating all the wineshops.
Anyway... finally, I get all the reports come back to the doc, and now it is the time to get treated. I get a whole week-long course of antibiotic injections and tablets, that include a proton pump inhibitor, one for killing pain and fighting inflammation, a probiotic and an antibiotic. I imagine some kind of battle between pro and anti biotics... anyway, I take them all come back home. Order in Pizza and Fries.... feels good man, everything is sorted, I actually feel on the top of my game.
All is well. Life is good. Just Enjoying the ride.
Going to catch some One Piece Bonus content now, the Podcasts are really good. Also, new albums by both Morcheeba and Nightmares on Wax are about to drop, so looking forward to those. Have two more days of holidays to relax, before I get to work on Sunday.
