Friday, January 28, 2011


no one has evar made me note down shit before. ok thats a lie, prolly a teacharm but not liek this. oh you liek charachter sketchez? no? mebbe you havent really thought about it. ok how about this guy. hes liek real and shit. hes the god of music though. kid you not. you can literally hear echoes from tunes decades ago, and the radio playus in your brain when your around him. yeah, but unfortunately, you havent had the good fortune of meeting huim, so imma left with the stopid job of describing him to you. hes a bit on the stout side, really serious expression on him all the tiem liek hes responsible for soemthing but hes chilling liek a motherfucker most of the tiem. ok. now he lives alone with his music system and a bunch of albums, and he does not evan work. He haz music playing that will drive you nutz. seriously, thars a track called 9:25. Its actually the length of the song, thars this whole backasstory abt how ppeople assume stuff with song names so they just names the track lengths and album lengths in something called Global communication. ok so its liek a mileston e album that no one but the artists heard and 9:25 is like something that does not sound like music. evan. He foucking loves albums. At least, thats what he claims. This fucking guy haz a seperate pmp for when he wants to run (he spends a lot of tiem running), when he wants to bike (bmx s*), what he plugs into his precious speakers, and the one he uses for travelling.
Fuck that s#it, thiszx guy is not self-admiteddly the god of audio he can play instruments in his vicinity without touching them. The sounds are not too loud though, but you can hear it nonetheless. If he picks up an instrument though. Thats it. he kills music there.
he is merciful though. most of the tiem, he just listens to stuff. Thiz guy runs for two sessions, once in the morning at six and once in the evening a little before four thirty. Ive sometimes followed him on a bike (imma ona bmx 2). Random people wave at him when hez a running. He usually sits down for a chai and a samosa before ricking back home. Thats the only tiem I get to speak to him because otherwize he doesnt get me evan if I yell my lungs out. He uses a pair of noise-isolating in-ears when he runs, the ones with arms that go around the ears so they dont fall out. Hez replaced the buds of those god-damn earphones because he didnt liek the fact that they were noise isolating. Something about being able to hear traffic and shit.
You wont believe what this guy haz to say about qualityu. evan. This guy is liek a radio sounds - ok fucking get this - heavier - than a 320 mp3 ona good system or a fukken cd ina deck. He zays that our ears instintively "trust" static and noise, and we imagine audio information better on lower quality muysic. Fucking shit. I argued back with a fucking strong argument about cam rips and how production values matter a lot. He was nodding away to some of that dubstem shit and going "yeeaaah" and I wuz not evan done.
This guy is the god of sound. Seriously, the way the vague background music creeps up to you is well... a little off putting, to articulate it. Only do you realiuze a little later that hez put on track 6 of the Richard D. James Album. Never heard of it? Ill come around to more common titles later, but this ones like a milestone or soemthing too. I mean you look it up on wikipedia and they call it "brain music" you have to stop in your tracks for a second. This guy. No. Hes just a god, its someone else's music. Hes a god of consumption as well. He eats albums liek they were food.
There wuz this tiem when he wuz running and I wuz cruising, and he stopped in the middle of nowhere, pulled out his ear-thingies and looks atme and saiys "Ive not been alisting to anathing for five minutes". I goo like 'Haha why dont youy sing?". Just blurted that out, donno what it meant should've prolly kept my thogths to myzelf.
yeha defiantly.
Then I ended up commiting a farther indiscriton. I goez and tells the god of sound "has you heard the new radiohead album?" You know that wuz at least 60% a conversational question, I would have asked that to anyone nowadays. He looks at me as if I were some kind of a pre-azoic sea-foam slug. The god of music has looked me straight in the eye and told me "I dont fucking listen to radiohead." Thats not the worst part evan.
He fukken listens to raggae. I dont evan know what raggae sounds like. I imagine something like black men in suits dancing liek animals to drum beats and a viola though I haz no idea abt that instrument. With some exxxotic looking babes in the background somewhar. yeah thats what raggue might sound liek. And electronica. The god of music totally digs a fat baseline. Justice? Yeah thats on the permanent space on his ipod. Stemfour? Dont try it, youll prolly have to wake up in another tiem and place. He evan lent Deadmau5 a copy of Tales of Terror and Death.
I havent gotten started. evan. Ok so this guy sees patterns in music. He tells me something about all the artists in the entire world feeling the same thing at the same tiem, and the music is just one aspect of it, like a portion of a jewel revealed. Yeah trippyass in a way. But he totally goes for it liek some songs are special for some years. He says sometimes ist just the time of the song and nothing else. Like ok, hwo Let the Dogs out is a 1998 song. That just sounded a little ragge-ish to me, but I even let it pass. Then theres more evadance he piles up for that stupid songwriteers around the world feelang the same thing. Totally ignoring another friend's prolly informad remarks that the songwriters were, in fact, the same person he points out to nouvelle vague's teenage kicks thematic similarities to katy perry's teenage dreams. apaprt from the fact the both the songs have teenage in their song titles, ifound vary little similarities between the two songs, thematic or otherwize. but this guy must know what hez atalking about, hez the god of muci.
Oh yeah the thing he uses while he runs is a sansa sandisk, Its an mp3 player thingy and he haz a bunch of tracks on it that he changes evary mroning. heiz ipod, has like permanent space allocated to a bunch of albums. Hares, exclusively, "The GOD of Music's Ipod Playlist" or soemthing liek that. I couldnt help but note it down. Its in albhabetical order evan.

Air - Love 2
Aphex Twin - Richard D. James Album
Convextion - Convextion CDS
Covenant - Skyshaper
DJ Shadow - Entroducing.....
Ellen Allien & Apparat - Orchestra of Bubbles
FSOL - Lifeforms
Global Communication - 76:14
Gorillaz - Plastic Beach
Infected Mushroom - Converting Vegetarians (just Disc 2)
Kraftwerk - Man Machine
LCD Soundsystem - This is Happening
MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
Mono - Formica Blues
Nightmares On Wax - Smoker's Delight
Portishead - Dummy
Ratatat - Classics
Trentmoller - The Last Resort

He sayz better music than this does not exist in the universe. I wuz curios to know what he deleted but then I let it be. I listen to some of the stuff in there, Air and Portishead I was definately familiar with, and the Gorillaz album wuz one of my favorites too, so I mentally hi-fived myself for having four artists that I liekd common with the God of Music.
I asked him about the Covenant album. Northern Light is a much better album, he'd picked up what critics of the group called the worst album by the band. He told me soemthing about how the sound was perfect, and much better than the previous releases. He told me the sound wuz universal, that aliens would appreciate it as well. Maybe thats why huimans dont dig it that much.
Still a little vauge? This guy seruiyusly listens to a lot of musc. I kid you not he waz nodding away hiz head to a Punjabi MC track, dont evan know what it wuz called and he was going like "this is the reeal shiit" and I think it was sandwiched between a whole string of crap songs on tv with badly animated alien cratures flotting arond.
The god of music told me of a radio frequency. he told me that human brains could tune in to that frequency without any effore. He saus that soemtimes he broadcasts on that frequency, then the same tune plays in eavryons heads. evan if were listening to different songs, and different tracks, at different tiems, evan if were tuned in to two different radio stations, it can all sound the same. He also toll me that all good musci are tiem machines. When you play the music, evarone who listens to it gats transported to same tiem. Such talk is too heavy dose for me.
Sometimes theres a wistful look on his face. Theres one thing he lieks to sayz a lot, thats music is dead for a lot of people. It died with the beatles, it died with punnk floy, it died with jimi hendrix, it died in seattle, or t-pain killed it with autotune you nevar know. ok yeha t-pain killed it with autotune and dolphines. but the music died.

No comments:


This is an outline, fleshing out the story later.  Havelock vs Puck. It was the biggest event in sports entertainment, ever. Millions...