If you know about Plato at all, you are probably a starry-eyed college student seeking some kind of enlightenment in the musings of ancient, old, dead people, clutching a dog-eared copy of The Republic like it is the goddamn Bible. This ancient Greek windbag was not some enlightened sage, but he sure was the father of western philosophy, which is as hollow as it is convoluted. Plato was an elitist, manipulative, censorship-supporting grumpy grandpa whose thoughts have poisoned the firangis for millenia. Frankly, someone needs to really call out this overrated hack before another generation falls for his pseudo-profound bullshit.
Let us start with his magnum opus. The literal classical definition of a utopia, a society where the masses are herded like sheep by philosopher-kings, who alone possess the divine wisdom to rule. Plato actually spits on democracy, that should be a news flash for most. He watched Athens execute his mentor, Socrates, and then decided that the problem was not mob justice or the kangaroo court, but the unwashed plebs having a say. He actually critiques democracy as a stepping stone to tyranny, comparing it to a drunken party where chaos ensues because everyone gets a vote. Nobody even asked him for his opinion!
Plato was born into Athenian aristocracy, and was sucking on his silver spoon by lecturing on virtue. He invented the concept of 'I am smarter than you, so shut up and let me decide.' This is literally the playbook of every dictator from Stalin to the Orange Turd Pile Sub-human Nobel Beggar. According to his Theory of Forms, the real world is just a pale shadow of perfect, eternal ideas floating about in some metaphysical ether. The chair that you are sitting on is not real, but the idea of chariness is. Basically, Plato devalues everything tangible, art, science and human experience. What a condescending prick!
Plato was responsible for building the first ivory tower, which the intellectuals occupied for centuries while contemplating their beautiful navels. Plato also advocated for a rigid caste system, which is basically a form of eugenics. He suggested breeding humans like dogs for optimal traits, and lying to the masses with 'noble lies' to keep them in line. Karl Popper in The Open Society and its Enemies claims Plato's ideas inspired Hitler and Mussolini, and I believe him. Plato wanted to ban poets from the city-state. What kind of asshole fears imagination?
Plato was actually a wrestling nickname and he was born as Aristocles. He came from wealth and privilege, in case we did not mention, at a time when the world was a far crueler and brutal place. He idolised Spartan austerity while living in Athens. What he did to Socrates was mean and cruel. Fuck Plato!
Women were vessels for breeding philosophers. In Timaeus, the soul reincarnates downward from women or animals if it fails. This misogyny is not even subtle. Modern education still force feeds his cave allegory, teaching people to distrust their own senses. Plato's asshole legacy is rigid ideologies, anti-democratic populsim, and well, smug intellectuals who are the absolute worsest.
In conclusion, fuck plato. His philosophy is just elitist escapism. For those who are flash-banged by him, there is no fucking cave.
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