Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Prototype

Prototype is an awful excuse for a hack-and-slash zombie hunting sandbox game. The really strange part that I couldn't figure out after hours of gameplay, was exactly what I was doing. This was because the idiot Mercer would give the zombie-mutants and the military equal opportunities on being consumed. It turned out to be Mercer's fault anything happened in the first place. Everything sucks, but its still a thrill to pick up anything and throw it anywhere. If only there were no story and mission to complete, and the game was a kind of digital "toy". Ah well..


Thats me, not being dead. Unfortunately. Actually, that's not even me, its an infection's interpretation of me. Yeah, you get to play as an infection...



... an infection that consumes people. The consumption bit is not too pretty. But once I eat anyone, I can not only be them, I absorb their memories and their expirience. If only this guy could be a man...

Yeah, Mercer has seen her before. And, that's a strange looking OS to boot... what kind of a desktop environment has no minimise or maximise icons I ask you? 


One of the many not-awesomely bad meanies in the game. He is modelled less carefully than some of the saurians in Wolfenstein. The DOS Wolfenstein. 


This guy looks like some monsters from Turok wen't out and mated with the zombie bitch from Bloodrayne. In other words, fugly. 


Meet one of the many women in my life, this is my girlfriend. Goth looking female ... is a pain to speak with. Still, have to keep running to her house to get missions. 
Hmm... the face seems familiar... who could this be?
...
...wait a min... Mom?

With a mother like that, all of this is just... just...



A hive full of infected thingies. 


That's me looking over the skyline. Look's like the skyline from Mirror's edge, only less pretty. 


Did I mention that you can run up walls, jump from incredible heights, and be the bastard cloned offspring of Spiderman and the Hulk? I didn't? I should have - it's pretty important. 
Then there are those soul orbs from POP. You pick them up for some reason, I was too busy nostaligcally remembering Elika to actually pay any attention to what it was. 
I gobbled up Daft Punk.  Ok. That one was a little stretched. 

Now I can become superman too. Yeahah. You get to fly somewhere in the middle of the game. One third actually, but you are no mathematician. 

Now I am the bastard offspring of Superman and Wolverine. Yeahah. 
I can attack flying copters in mid-air. Just swoop at them and give em a flying kick. 

Now I am military man destroying water-towers marked by a ring of flying crows. What brilliance. 


I just threw a car at another car , and it exploded. 

Look at me, holding that guy up in the air  - look closely at his expression of horror. 


Yeah well, got a tank and shit. Whatever. Bad game, give it a miss. 



However, be sure not to miss this.

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