Thursday, July 21, 2022

Dream Diary Major Kung Fu vs Tai Chi

I just saw a full-blown action movie. 

I have no idea what my brain is working through. 

Anyway, so there is this retired military general who is the crime boss of a major operation that owns an office complex full of workers that do very shady things, with the first two floors for running a protection racket, the next two for arms trafficking, then piracy, forgery, smuggling artwork, cybercrime, poaching, insurance fraud, identity theft, contract killing and drug smuggling. It is a 24 story building, with the HQ and penthouse on the top floor. The building is known as The Syndicate. 

His name is Major Kung Fu, and he wears a red bandana, defeating the purpose of his camo gear. 

He has a henchman named Dambe, a servant named Body, who is a body double for Major Kung Fu, and a fat son retarded in all sorts of ways known as Wing Chun. He also has two associates, Bokator and Muay Thai. 

Bokator, Muay Thai and Major Kung Fu all express their concerns in a meeting, where they discuss their most profitable customers move to a mysterious new source, who apparently provides hydroponically grown weed of a much better quality. The operation is run by a sniper who drives around on a Kawasaki Ninja bike, and is not above taking down street vendors who are competition. This mysterious guy's name is Tai Chi, and they all decide in the meeting that they have to find this guy. 

Major Kung Fu

Bokator, Muay Thai, Major Kung Fu all live on the ground floor of an apartment complex, one that I had seen in a different dream. Turns out Tai Chi is their neighbour! One day, Major Kung Fu just asks Tai Chi if he has some weed, which Tai Chi gives immediately. Major Kung Fu reports to Bokator and Muay Thai that he has finally found Tai Chi, and that he lives in the same apartment, and throws the weed on the table to prove it. All three of them have a hearty, villainous cackle. 

Major Kung Fu confiscates Tai Chi's beloved sniper weapon, puts it in an electronic trunk, hires Tai Chi himself to manage the weed business. Tai Chi is initially happy, although he resents having to work for someone else, and not getting to keep his weapon. Major Kung Fu attempts to make Tai Chi more disciplined, and requires him to access the weapon only after notifying him of the target at least a day in advance. He can also only kill between eight and nine PM. These rules are meant to make Tai Chi plan his actions instead of impulsively killing people. 

Tai Chi does not like all these new rules, and goes rogue. He procures another, higher calibre weapon from a distant crime syndicate, one that can operate as both a machine gun and a sniper. He then begins to attack The Syndicate. Major Kung Fu gets his workers to abandon the bottom 12 storys, fortify the next 8 storys, asks Dambe to stick with him, and the Body to carry Wing Chun. 

All of them just hear the sounds of violence and struggle while hiding in the penthouse. Major Kung Fu gets impatient, and then begins to head to the lower floors. Dambe does not like him not sticking to the plan, but follows anyway. The Body carries Wing Chun, who is drooling, eating chips, and crying at the same time, not because of the danger but because he cannot play videogames. 

Tai-Chi

The Body take's Tai Chi's old weapon for protection. The Body and Wing Chun flinch and watch as a gunfight between Major Kung Fu, Dambe and Tai Chi takes place. They just see reflected muzzle flashes, and hear two screams, the first one with Dambe dying, and the second one with Major Kung Fu dying. They hear footsteps approaching. The Body gets scared and fires randomly into the staircase. The footsteps stop. 

Wing Chun then goes down the stairs carefully, with The Body following. They find Tai Chi dead on the staircase, in the process of walking up. There are other bodies littered around the nineteenth floor. Wing Chun goes up to the body of Major Kung Fu, and picks up his gun, and removes the bandana. He then puts the bandana around The Body's head, and smiles. The Body smiles back. 

I woke up. 

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