Thursday, November 03, 2005

How to bathe in old derilect bathrooms that have not been used for a year (give or take a few decades)

"Hypothetically" speaking (I cannot use "quotes" or sarcasm very efficently, although they "might amount to" the same thing), anyway hypothetically speaking (notice the lack of quotes), in case you ever have to bathe in a bathroom that is infested by atleast three species of insects, and two of them an fly, and one of them posess the capability of stinging, here are some pointers. Remember, all this is only hypothetical, and did NOT "happen to me".


1) This is a very important piece of advice. Always remember it. If taking a bath will make you dirtier than you already are, then it is better not to take a bath at all. As a matter of "expirience" (I'm still speaking hypothetically), although there will be a strong feeling of "atleast-I-will-feel-fresher-and-cleaner". THIS IS A BLOODY ILLUSION. DO NOT FALL FOR IT

2) Try not to be too nervous, and try singing to drive away the insect. Although it probably won't work, unless maybe, as a placebo, which is really, your only hope.

3) Do not step on any of the insects (under the delusion that you can kill them all. Noah should've and could've, but he was a fool. Men have been trying to kill insects since then, but usually, they are looked upon as fools. Do not join the club).

4) Do not step on any of the houses of the insects, or they'll all swarm out.

5) Be very sure to carefully sweep the cobwebs off the showercap

6) Preferably before commencing to shower

7) It is better to take a sponge bath

8) It is beter to remember point no 7) before you take a shower

9) Remember to make sure that your clothes don't have members from other genera in them before donning them.

10) To avoid emberassment, always speak about the expirience "hypothetically."

By the way, if spiders are insects, make the count of species to four.

"Hypothetically speaking"

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