A new feeling

So two days ago I was going to college in the local train, and hanging out. I wanted to know if I would have the guts to fall off and die, but I also knew that I didn't. I knew that no matter how much I experimented with the idea, I would not fall off and die. I got this feeling that I wasn't meant to fall off and die from the train.
Then I felt really weird. There was something pretty profound welling up within me, and I was racking my brains searching for a word for it. I knew that the feeling had a word, but because of the very nature of the word, and because of the nature of the feeling, which, by the way, I was feeling for the first time, it was not easy to place the word.
Eventually, I came across it, and realized a hell lot of things. I fully understood the meaning of destiny.

A long time ago I went on this trip to Yogi hills with a few friends, and the mother of one of these friends. There was this long talk on fate and destiny, and I was very skeptical about the whole thing. I did not believe in destiny, and had absolutely no faith in fate. Why, I thought, should I have even a modicum of faith in this so called destiny, when all destiny was was simply how things would eventually turn out to be with your damned life. I realized now how wrong I was, and also realized how destiny actually drives your life. Whenever I think about it, I have to try hard to get at the feeling again, it is this wonderful feeling of infinite potential, and it is hard to feel, let alone express.
But destiny can be felt, and it is always there like the air, but it takes considerable effort to actually notice it. It lasts for a fleeting second, but that is one hell of a second. You feel like things will eventually sort themselves out, and there is this long time ahead of you full of so many different things, and hope that you will enjpy everything. It basically fills you up from the inside, and you realize that it is infact, the thing that is driving your goddamned life. Dammed difficult to explain, but a wonderful feeling to experience. It's not like something you are fated for, like you have no choice, or that your entire life is written for you in some way. It is also not like you get to do whatever you want to do with your life. The best way to explain it would be... That it is a feeling that you will end up doing things that you were meant to do, that you were perfect for, fulfilling your purpose.