savage energy

thats the title of a new poem im writng
im online and ive not even signed up
poor web friends. they are so trustful of me. i dont want to harm them. but i havent been there for a while. become so friendly and all.
but im betraying my parents too. am not studying. am wasting too much of their money by doing useless things on the net. atleast i stopped porn. they just want me to score marks. they are having a tough time. they cannot handle their new jobs and house. the cost is mounting to keep me living a very comfortable life, and im am blowing cash on useless cds and casettes. and wasting energy
and crying. crying like hell. its not that i am happy.
this is killing me inside.
but i need to do it.
Normally, i don't share such sorry thoughts, but hey, thats what blogs are for. maytbe i'll just resolve and improve or stay lazy. the key to happiness is to be happy. its as simple as that.
if only society wasn't everready to stab you in the back.
ah well.
alcohol cures.
but i have none now, and i have also stopped drinking. i drank only thrice. now i've totally given it up. i don't like it. i am NOT addicted. that was over a year ago. now im normal. but i shouldn't stray
ah well.

have a heart
thats it.