Sunday, March 11, 2007


A Storm, was the host of the G8 environmental summit. He had just realised that he needed to save the world. The world was in a very bad right then.
Everyone remembered the Prime Minister of the Matrimonial Republic of Bharat. He had brought about a cultural revolution with just two of his ears. Not because he heard everyone, he was stone deaf and immune to what other people said, which is why he became the Prime Minister in the first place, but because his ears had an exceptional amount of hair. Hairy ears became the trend, the vogue, the most popular idea the world had since AIDS. The trend had spread all over the G8 summit to decide enviornmental issues, which made things convinient for everybody really, no one was really listening to each other. That is what usually happened when people of equal power got together... a bunch of kids talking, world leaders talking or you talking with your friends - its all the same nonsense. However, most people in the world thought the summit was important. Particularly A Storm. The 8 people at the summit were:

Prime Minister Sting Ray, of the Matrimonial Republic of Bharat, who was elected the leader of one huge joint family that the erstwhile south Asia had become. Because of a lot of social networking afforded by the penetration of the internet into the rural areas, because of infrastrucure being developed, marriages were happening increasingly faster, online, and anonymously. In the beggening a few people were cheated and swindled by the dowry money, which was for the most part untraceable because of the online transfer, but strict policy decisions of all dowry money having to be transferred on triplicated stamped virtual paper, made the whole thing easier. Not only did this region become the most unique place in the world, where families and homes were being built virtually, but business and cultural events like Ganesh Chaturti were also being held in this fashion. This behavior was further fuelled by the outsourcing of many processes from all over the world to this technicially proficient nation. This sharply reduced the consumption of fossil fuel in the country, because everyone became a work-at-home person, and finally, this region became the richest in the world and there was acute economic polirisation. As an added benefit, load shedding measures were ceased, which allowed for everyone to spend more time online. There was only one concern in the country apart from internet viruses that were bound to periodically hold everyone's lives up, and that was the concern about the economic use of all the plastic. A computer was mostly made of plastic, and once the computer was done with, there was a lot of plastic that needed to be disposed. The Prime Minister never heard that doing this was his problem, so he got elected, and people were relieved. No one wanted the place anymore, it was cool that someone had decided to take it, and he was bundled off to the G8 summit.

President Oscar W Wills, Of the United States of Googlenron had been born to a country that ran on Ad Firms. The Presidential Races here needed to be so well manipulated that the necessary brains for such an oppression were only in the Ad Firms. The big runners were all sure of their own wins, when a coalition was formed, of many small ad firms, who supported Oscar, and he ended up becoming the president. They had only one concern, that of the enviornment. They wanted to use the enviornment itself for the sake of better advertising. They wanted to put up holograms in the sky, project messages on flowers from the inside, and hide subtle mind altering patterns in the stars. For all this, they needed a national enviornmental policy for handling all of this change. Oscar was happy. He didn't have to do much at the summit. The Googleenron corporation was doing well, all he needed to say was that not having a policy with such harmful effects on the enviornment would be "economically unfair" to Googlenron.

President Junky, Of the New Bermudas, was from a mysterious new republic that seemed to have just risen from the ocean. No one knew where it came from, and everyone was really suspicious about it.

President Quen Tin Tee, Of Japan, was an exploitative film maker from Japan. His films did not depict exploitation, no, they were all just normal, vulgar porn, but the people were exploited in the process of the film making. Please don't be disgusted, no real people were used in any of his movies, all of them had charachters modelled and rendered virtually from the best animators in the Matrimonial Republic of Bharat, it was a mere exploitation of ideas. He used to pick up a great idea from somewhere, pretend to be paying homage to it, while making a degrading and baseless bunch of films, which happened to be satisfying in the same way as porn happened to be satisfying. This was all great, but he got himself elected because he needed to Support the Matrimonial Republic of Bharat on its enviornmental policies, which would have been beneficial to Japan as well. hardly anyone was aware of it, but it was the Japanese technology and the Japanese computer market that Bharat had originally given its contracts to, Japan was becoming rich because of Bharat.

President Darren A Mounty of Canada: The people in Canada were all green. No really, they were people who smoked the pipe of peace, passed it around and relaxed. everyone loved the Canadians and their ways. Although, they were midly irritated by their affinity towards hip-hop. But such things can be forgiven, and requests for small factories entertained.

Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi from Australia felt slightly out of place when out of his own home country. They were all singularly Star Wars freaks. They become such fanatics that they actually claimed their religion to be the Jedi religion in official surveys. There was a move for the government not to recognize any religion, but the people called the government godless. The reasoning was that since 95% of the people in Australia believed in God, God must be officially recognized. It so happened that 75% of the people also believed in the Jedi Religion, so that too, was officially recognized. He needed to get some major work done at the summit. A group of people were just waiting for the chance to get permission to develop Star Wars like technology... he needed to secure that permission from the Summit.

Then there was The Father Christmas from the North Pole, who was better known as Santa Claus. He had a jolly factory that made gifts for little kids. He just wanted to use more of the ice.

There was The Son of the Soil from Bombay, a small establishment that had become a country of its own. It worked with tandem with Bharat as it was one big placement agency. It knew all the tricks of the trade, and it was so efficient, that by the time a person was born, he was given a list of things to do, movies to see, games to play, and suchlike, which would automatically psychologically build him into being the ideal candidate for call centers, or the CET examinations, or Management Studies and suchlike. It was one big training center. All the kids in the world ended up being brought up in Bombay, which began to swell under the growth of the population. Eventually so much of the land was reclaimed that the engineers from Bombay ended up in Africa, and conviniently took the whole continent over. Now Bombay was in posession of the most clean enviornmental patches anywhere in the world, and Son of the Soil had come here to do only one thing - to prevent everyone else in the G8 summit from passing resolutions that would make Bombay one large dumping ground.

The final member was the Holy Spirit of Sanity, but Sanity was a paradise that was lost in this world, and no one bothered about spirits anyway. The Alcoholics Anonymous were so sucessful that all spirits were supressed and forgotten in a series of mutual benefit interactions.

It was an intense argument at the summit, with a lot of morbid interactions... Googlenron managed to convince everyone by threatening them with sanctions, though nobody was aware exactly what were the useful things being sent to their countried from America. They were just scared of the word sanctions. Meanwhile, Canada was so hell bent on maintaining peace that it allowed for the garbage to be dumped in its own country. Obi Wan kenobi screened Star Wars to everyone, with a special stress on the the magnetically sealed Garbage Compactor seen in Episode IV: A New Hope, and promised to direct sufficient efforts to create such technology. Quen Tin Tee told the Son of the Soil that he would supply it with technology that turned waste into computers, which would enable it to compete with Bharat, and a greedy son of the soil, just nodded his head, leading to expressions of surprise from everyone in the Summit but Quen Tin Tee... Bombay had agreed to dispose the wastes. Bharat was really surprised by this behavior. If Bombay is taking in the wastes, maybe I should do it too, thought Sting Ray, and he did just that. Father Christmas melted all the ice and made the poles two hotspots, and the Holy Spirit, was as usual, floated away, ignored. It was mouthing something, but no one paid any attention to it.

The summit was over, A Storm, the host, came in and handed everyone small butterflies and everyone parted ways. Forty years later a monument was built of A Storm because of his service to mankind.

By a hundred years later. the world became an enviornmental disaster, the poles melted, there were tsunamis all around, it began to rain at odd seasons, there was snow where there should have been sunshine and butterflies where there had to be sparrows. The tigers and elephants died out, the mosquitoes and cockroaches multipled, and the ground shook beneath the weight of the waste. The atmosphere was full of toxins, and the air became thick with oxides. A thousand years later, things were pretty much the same. A hundred thousand years later, mankind was reduced to one small group of nomads, where all they did was harvest the remaining few plants for food for their subsistance. They cultivated, grew and ate human meat, because that was the only animalian genetic material left on the earth. It was only then, that this group of nomads wandered around and bumped into the monolith of A Storm. A storm had planned this day from a long time ago. There was a button, that had unvieled itself only recently, four or five days could have passed by at the most... it was made of plastic, and the air would have corroded it if it had stayed any longer. The leader of the nomadic group pressed the button. The group was shown something that mankind hadn't been able to see for a hundred thousand years... ever since the skies were permanently blackened by the pollution. The universe outside, had died. It was the march of entropy. Things tended to diffuse energy, not collect it. The world had expirienced more Ice Ages than global warmings. It was an unnatural fear, something that no one had to be paranoid about... people had to think on a large scale, imagine preserving the enviornment for a little generations into the future, but then realise that the universe has become cold and bereft of heat... and allow your descendants to rot away in a cold cosmos? No, thought Storm, he would save up the energy for a gift to the decendants, give the humans one last chance to live when the universe had died... he would save up and collect energy till entropy had disappitated energy all over the universe... but spared the earth. The Nomadic group nodded and were slightly confused. They looked at each other, shrugged and walked away. You see, the trend of ear hair had really, really spread, they were all stone deaf.

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